Today, I unintentionally locked eyes with a dude who had been very intensely starring at my face the entire time we shared the sidewalk. I feel very small when I get stared down or cat-called. Frazzled, extremely anxious that my entire space is being invaded and I had no say in it. So you'll imagine my terror when I lock eyes with creepy-blue-eyes.
But then, as he's about to pass me- walking the opposite direction and mantaining eye contact- he makes a fart noise. A surprising, full on, Grown Man raspberry. Of course, I immediately "WTF, Dude"-ed him, but as we walked away I laughed, realizing it was pure genius!
I needed a new tool to handle my cat-calling distress. Telling people to f*ck off is getting old and makes me feel worse. So, should you get stared down while being your badd self, stare back, and give the fart noise a try. It's a great and simple way to disarm the patriarchy.
Thank you, creepy sidewalk man.